


What's Done is Gone

by A_Simple_Peach



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, M/M, Memory-loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7817902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Simple_Peach/pseuds/A_Simple_Peach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonathan Bellamy was injured in a car accident and contracted amnesia, Aaron Burr takes care of him but is afraid to remind him that they were dating before the accident. Things continue to go downhill as the weeks progress.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forgetful by Accident

“How are you feeling?”

The little man turned a vacant look towards the man at his bedside. After a moment, realization entered his deep green eyes.

“Oh, I’m well, thank you very much!” he smiled.

Where most people only use that wording when being sarcastic, it was clear that he meant it as genuine gratitude.

“I’m glad to hear that.” 

He almost reached for the man upon the pristine white bed’s hands, but caught himself. He pursed his lips as he turned away. Something sorrowful crossed his features. A messy blond head tilted at him. Yet no question broke the silence and no answer smoothed away the tension. They say the walls have ears, you know.

Sober glimpses of sunlight poured in from a single open window. One man rubbed his young but bald head, pretending he was not mesmerized by the way the other’s little orange freckles danced in a stray beam.

“Do you work here?” asked the freckled man.

The other looked up at him. “No, I’m just a visitor.” he smiled weakly.

“Oh.” he gestured at the other beds in the corridor. “Do you know someone in here?”

“I do.” he jumped as a computer beeped rather loudly nearby.

“Who is it? Don’t you want to see them?”

“I do.” 

A carefree chuckle. “Then why are you talking to me?”

The bald man looked down with a deep sigh. A woman in a white uniform walked by behind him. Once she was gone, he spoke without looking up.

“Do you mind that I’m talking to you?”

“Of course not! You seem like good company!” 

The other man shook his head with a half-hearted chuckle.

“No, really!” he leaned forward in the bed and put his hand on the other man’s shoulder. “What’s your name?”

Tensing at the touch, the man in question snapped up to look him in the eye. Green beat brown and he glanced away.

“My name isn’t important.”

“It is to me.”

A sigh. “I’m Aaron. Aaron Burr.” 

“Aaron?” the other man lay back in thought for a moment. “I’ve sure never met anyone called Aaron before. You’d think it would be a more popular name.”

“Well, it’s not.” Aaron snapped.

“I’m sorry! Your name is very nice! I’m not saying it isn’t, I just- it’s kind of simple so I figured- well it’s great i-it’s just-”

“I get it.”

Once again, Aaron looked down into his lap. He was breathing very deeply. The little blond’s features softened with concern.

“Are you ok?”

No reply.

“Is it your friend?”

Aaron looked up skeptically.

“Your friend? Or was it a family member?” he fidgeted with the pristine white sheets for a moment. “The person you came here to visit? Are they not doing well?”

Such an innocent question, yet it drained all of the taller man’s energy. It’s not his fault, he told himself, he had no way of knowing how much this hurt him.

“No, they’re not.” he mumbled.

“They’ll get better soon, though! That’s why they’re here!” the cheerfulness of his tone was too much for Aaron.

“Right.” Aaron smiled back. “That’s how it works.”

“Yeah! They’ll get the treatment they need and-” he broke off with a sneeze.

Frowning, Aaron instinctively glanced around. His eyes settled on a little yellow flower in a pot on the bedside table. A daffodil. He grabbed it and took it away.

“Why did you take the flower?” the other man tilted his head inquisitively at Aaron.

“Because you’re allergic.”

“How do you know that?”

“I’m psychic.” he caught the wonder-filled glow filling the smaller man’s eyes. “No, not really. You sneezed and I saw the flower so naturally I just assumed you’re allergic.”

The other man blinked at him, then burst into laughter. His whole body shook, causing the bandages on his head to shift slightly. Aaron frowned.

Just then, the nurse arrived.

“I’m sorry, sir, but visiting hours are over.” she said.

Aaron nodded and stood up, smoothing out his shirt. As he grabbed his jacket and turned to leave, a sad voice spoke up behind him.

“You’re leaving?”

He sighed. “Yes.”

“Will you come back tomorrow?”

Knowing if he turned around he would be struck by those big, hopeful, green eyes, he walked away. He sent a noncommittal ‘maybe’ over his shoulder, sounding a bit harsher than he had intended. 

\---

The doctor stopped him outside the door to the ER.

“How are you, Mr. Burr?” he asked in that old, gruff voice.

“Fine, Dr. Brunswick.”

“Did you tell him?”

“No.”

Dr. Brunswick sighed deeply, shaking his head. Knowing it was useless to argue with this man, he pulled out his clipboard and switched to his business tone.

“Good news is his injuries are healing well. If that were all that concerned us, we’d likely be able to release him within a few days.”

The doctor looked up at him expectantly. Aaron simply nodded for him to continue.

“The bad news is something we’ve already discussed. You know how he is by now, and you’ll have seen what little progress we’ve made with him even after two weeks of being here.”

Aaron nodded again.

“The fact is, he isn’t getting better. Not many people do with this type of problem after that hard of a hit to his head.”

Another nod. The doctor sighed.

“I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that the driver of the car is getting a sentence for his actions. A short sentence, only ninety days, but a sentence nonetheless. He’ll likely not be driving under the influence again anytime soon.”

Stalling was never a good sign in doctors. It meant they still had very bad news to tell. Aaron could already guess what that news would be. They had been discussing it for over a week.

“Look, he needs to be taken home by someone he trusts. He will need to be cared for like anyone else with a disability would be. I know how you feel about this, Mr. Burr, but if you don’t help him who will?” Dr. Brunswick’s voice shook with exasperation.

They had been over this before.

“His parents could-”

“Mr. Burr, his parents live in Utah. I understand how you feel, but I really don’t see why you don’t want to help him!”

“I never said that.”

“Then why won’t you tell him?”

Aaron Burr clenched his hands into fists at his side. He took several deep breaths. The doctor waited patiently despite his frustration. 

“Fine.” he mumbled.

“What?”

“Fine. I’ll take him in.”

Relief smoothed the doctor’s stiff features. “I’m happy to hear that. You will have to remind him of basic information every day. Are you prepared for that?”

“Yes.”

The doctor hesitated. “There’s no easy way to say this, but I’m sure you’ve figured it out already, anyway. Jonathan Bellamy will probably never regain his memories. You will have to remind him who he is and who you are every day for the rest of his life.” 

“I know. I did my research.”

“Can you handle that?”

“Of course.”

“You would feel better if you told him, you know.” the doctor suggested softly. “I’m sure he would be thrilled to know that you’re his boyfriend.”

Another deep, cleansing breath. “Thank you, Doctor, but I disagree.”


	2. Living Arrangements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where will Jon stay while he recovers? Will he ever remember who he was?

The door swung open to reveal a modest apartment. The living room featured white walls with a couple paintings hung here and there along it, a clean black futon, and an old wooden entertainment center complete with a dusty tv. Aaron gestured for Jon to step in first, then followed after him. The door clicked shut behind them.

“Please, make yourself comfortable.” Aaron said.

“Thank you!” 

Jon kicked his shoes and socks off, feeling the soft carpet squishing beneath his toes. He seemed to think that was the best thing since sliced bread, because he actually giggled. Aaron quickly turned to leave the room.

“Are you hungry?” he called over his shoulder.

“Yeah! May I have some lunch, please?” 

Aaron took in a deep breath. “Yes. You don’t have to be so polite, you know?”

“Ok!” came the sing-songy reply.

Aaron hurried into the kitchen. A pang shot through his heart when he heard the shuffle of feet behind him. Jon was following him. Like a lost puppy. Like he always used to. His little Bell...

“Grilled cheese?” he asked.

“Anything you want to make, sweetheart!”

He whipped around in horror, blood draining from his face.

“Wh-what did you say?”

Jon tilted his head in confusion. “I said; ‘Anything you want to make, Aaron.’” 

The blood slowly returned to heat up Aaron’s face. He pursed his lips and looked away, unable to meet those wide glowing eyes right now. 

“Why don’t you wait in the other room while I cook?” he suggested quietly.

“Alright! Do you mind if I explore a bit?”

“Not at all.”

With that, Jon strolled off to ‘explore’ his new surroundings. Aaron was left alone to cook the grilled cheese sandwiches. Sighing, he remembered to use swiss cheese instead of American cheese. He knew that that was how Jon always liked it. 

Ring! Ring!

Groaning, he put the finished sandwiches on plates and reached for his phone. The screen flashed the doctor’s number on it. Here we go again.

\---

Jon aimlessly wandered down the hallway, opening every door and cabinet that crossed his path. Many of them were empty or just closets and storage spaces. Strangely, there were one or two things that didn’t seem to belong. Whether it was an article of clothing that was a different size from the others or a possession that didn’t match Aaron’s overall theme.

Right now, he was holding one such thing. A soft, green snuggie. Jon had only just met Aaron that morning, but somehow he couldn’t see him wearing this. A familiar image came to mind before being lost under a searing headache. He threw the snuggie back in the closet and slammed the door. 

Clutching his head in pain, he decided to ask Aaron for some medicine. The doctor had given him some that morning before he was released and that helped his headache then, so it probably would now.

As he neared the kitchen, he heard Aaron’s voice. 

“-can’t do that, Doctor. I need some time to think, that’s all.”

He must be on the phone. Jon decided to wait until later to talk to him. No need to be rude and eavesdrop-

“I’m not going to tell him! We’ve been over this!”

Immediately, he ducked behind a cabinet. He had to hear what this was about.

“Look, he doesn’t need to know. No. No. No. Yes. No.”

Clearly, Aaron was not going to make it easy to eavesdrop on his phone conversation with the doctor. After a full minute of one-word replies, Jon finally heard something useful.

He spoke in a hushed voice, but Jon could still make out what he was saying:

“Look, it’s just not easy to do. You want an explanation? Here it is! I won’t do it because I feel it is unnecessary and that it will only cause me strife. Besides, I’m giving him a second chance. You don’t know how we were in those few days before the accident. You don’t know how he felt. But, now, he can start all over!” 

Was Mr. Burr in a relationship? Why was he talking to the doctor about it? 

“Sure, it’ll be difficult for me to take care of Jon, but I’ll do it without complaint. Now, will you stop bugging me about this?”

Jon gasped, realizing that it probably was inconveniencing for Aaron to have to take care of him. 

His posture slackened with fatigue and his appetite vanished. 

\---

Near silence filled the dining room. Aaron scribbled away almost as fastidiously as the clock on the wall. Jon bit into his sandwich almost instinctively, his mind far from the world around him. Deep in thought, he swam in his feelings. His companion on the other side of the table picked up on this and, with some curiosity, briefly wondered if he had overcooked the grilled cheese. He frowned.

“Are you ok?”

Looking up from his meal, Jon hummed questioningly. 

“I asked if you were ok?”

“Oh. I’m fine. Just a small headache.” 

Aaron looked down at his notebook and shook his head. Closing it and setting his pencil aside, he stood.

“Let’s go somewhere.”

“Where?”

“Trust me, you’ll have fun.”

Smiling encouragingly, Aaron made a show of grabbing his keys as he headed for the door. Experience told him Jon would follow him. A bit of nostalgia crept into his mind as he thought of the place he was planning to take Jon to. One of Bell’s favorite places to visit and one that they often talked about when they were alone. It was the site of their first date, after all.


	3. Look the Other Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super fun aquarium time!! Enjoy :) :) :)

The shiny chevrolet gingerly pulled into the parking lot at their destination. As Aaron’s careful gaze slid over the surrounding area, Jon snored softly in the passenger seat. Nervous fingers took in the heat coming off the black leather steering wheel as their owner pursed his lips. Sweet sights of soft lips slightly parted and deep dreams dancing were spoiled by the memory of white walls and red-soaked bandages. He looked the other way. 

It was easy to go people-watching in his cozy car. The windows were tinted, allowing those inside to see out but keeping unwelcome eyes from peering in. But even that couldn’t help Aaron escape from his problems. This became painful as he watched a young couple walk by, hand-in-hand and sharing laughter. He bit his lip and looked the other way.

“Hey. Hey Jon. We’re here.” he mumbled as he carefully shook his… friend… awake.

“What?” Jon groggily replied.

“Look, we’re here.”

Jon yawned and curiously looked through the windshield. It took him a moment to see what sort of place Aaron brought him to. A disappointingly faint flicker of interest appeared in his eyes.

“An aquarium?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun.”

“If you say so.”

Aaron furrowed his brow, but said nothing. He looked the other way.

“Let’s go, then.”

Once the entrance fee was paid, they were free to look around. As soon as they entered a room dusted by the dim blue glow from the tanks, Jon’s eyes grew wide. He gasped and looked at Aaron. Both men were charmed into speechlessness, though their reasons were different.

“Oh. My. Gosh.” Jon whispered.

Aaron just nodded, allowing a small grin to crease his normally stoic features. Jon’s eyes sparkled with delight. He looked the other way.

“Why are we still standing in the doorway? Let’s look at all the fish!” he shouted before dashing off through the aquarium.

“Hey, wait for me!” 

\---

Jon pressed his face against the glass of the tank. The yellow tang on the other side eyed him suspiciously.

“Aaron! It’s looking right at me!”

Aaron shook his head and chuckled as Jon mimicked the fish’s blubbing. A couple of kids noticed this and joined him.

“Blub blub blub!” said a little boy.

“Hey, Mister! What’s that yellow fish called?” asked a little girl.

“Uh, I don’t know. Do you know what this fish is called?” Jon and all the kids turned to stare at Aaron.

“Yes.”

…

“Well?” asked the little girl. 

“What?” Aaron replied.

“He asked you if you knew what this fish is called!”

“And I said ‘yes’.”

The little girl scrunched her face up and put her hands on her hips. “TELL US WHAT THE FISH IS CALLED, YOU BIG MEANIE!” she screamed.

All the other children [and Jon] joined in, chanting “TELL US!” over and over again. Everyone else in the room turned to stare at them. No one could hear the little girl’s mother shushing her over their shouting. A security guard strolled over.

“What’s the problem, here?” he asked. 

“This meanie-pants won’t tell us what this fish is called!” shouted the little girl.

“It’s a yellow tang.”

“Oh thanks.”

Then, as if nothing happened, they all went back to blubbing at the fish. The little girl, however, stopped to give Aaron the stink-eye. Then, she looked the other way.

“Come on, Aaron, they have stingrays here! A big, stinging fish!” Jon said, dragging Aaron by the arm.

Sighing, he went along with his boyf- his friend. It was incredible how strong he was, considering his vertically-challenged nature.

\---

After hours of looking at fish, Jon was buzzing with excitement. After hours of watching little Bell have the time of his life, Aaron was tired. They agreed to go to the gift shop and then go home. Aaron planned on buying something nice for Jon to have in the hopes that someday, if he ever recovers enough to form new memories, he can have something to remember his day at the aquarium. If not, he would gladly take him back here at every chance he got.

Running his hand along dozens of fish-themed paraphernalia, Jon decided he would get something nice for Aaron. It was so nice of him to take him here, and he had found a ten dollar bill in the parking lot outside. Maybe if he did something nice for him, he wouldn’t be as much of a burden.

“See anything you like?” Aaron asked.

“Um, a few things…”

Jon was carrying two things, a plush clown fish in one hand and a shark cookie dispenser in the other. His brows furrowed as he looked from one to the other.

“I’ll buy you both of those if you want? You don’t have to choose.”

“No, no, that’s ok!”

“No, really, I want you to be happy.”

“I’m not sure what to get, that’s all!”

Aaron shrugged one shoulder. He looked the other way.

Jon turned down a different aisle. In search of the perfect gift, he began grabbing things off the shelves one by one.

“Well, hey there!”

Startled, Jon dropped the postcards he was carrying and turned to see who was talking to him.

“Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you.”

He was about Jon’s height, he was tan, he had a goatee and wavy, shoulder-length hair. He was smiling now, reaching out to place a hand on Jon’s shoulder. His eyes filled with concern and something unrecognizable - except that he’d noticed it in Aaron’s eyes before. He was beautiful.

“H-hello…” he blushed.

\---

“Thank you, come again!” said the cashier as Aaron finished paying.

He bought a yellow tang plushy since Jon had loved watching that fish so much. A light feeling welled up inside him as he turned to find his lov- friend to surprise him with it. Filled with this warmth, he hurried through the store.

“Th-thank you! Maybe we’ll talk again sometime?” Jon’s voice chimed from the next aisle over.

Aaron froze when he saw him. Smooth skin pinkened by a blush, hands clutched over his heart, the love in his eyes, the foreign hand ruffling his messy hair. Anger boiled inside him, threatening to spill over. He caught himself just in time.

The other man handed Jon a business card accompanied by a cheerful “I know this isn’t very romantic, but-” and a flirty wink. 

With a pang Aaron realized that he still hadn’t told Jon that they were already a couple. He probably was never going to. Looking at the happiness in those sweet green eyes, he realized that all he wanted was for Jon to be happy. He wasn’t happy before the accident, that was for sure. Now he could have a brand new start. With someone who could make him happy. Even if that meant he himself would be sad. A cold like ice crept through his body.

He looked the other way.


	4. A "Miracle"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon's beginning to recover. Alex wants to take him out on a date. Aaron ends up third-wheeling.

Aaron hummed a cheerful tune. Of course it felt terrible to hope for the worst for a man he’d hardly met, but that didn’t stop him. The fact was that Jon couldn’t form new memories. By the time he finally wakes up, he’ll have forgotten about Alex. Completely. Sure, that meant he would also forget Aaron again, but at least he’d never have to see his boyfriend with someone else.

The breeze was blowing softly through the open windows, the birdsong was as beautiful as the colors they flaunted, the satisfying sizzle of food cooking in a pan mingling with the fragrance of a hearty breakfast, it was all enough to make his heart swell and burst. He always felt this way when he thought of Jonathan, even those last few weeks before the accident when their relationship hit rough waters. 

Sleepy yawning hit his ears and he turned around with a smile. It had been a while since he’d last smiled. It felt as great as his boyfriend looked. Leaning in the kitchen doorway, eyes droopy from his recent slumber, slow deliberate movements of his limbs, he could pass for an adorable zombie.

 

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” Aaron practically sang like the bluebirds out the window.

“‘Morning, Aaron…” Jon mumbled and half-smiled.

The birds stopped singing.

“...what?” was all he could choke out.

“I said ‘Morning, Aaron’.” he yawned and stretched. “Are you making grilled cheese again?”

Just like that, his hope died along with his good mood. 

“Yes.” he gulped. “I-I see your memory is improving?”

“Hm? No, I only remember yesterday.”

“O-Of course.” Aaron pursed his lips and turned away.

Jon took his place by the window, watching the birds flit around in the sky as if it was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen, while Aaron plated up the grilled cheese and set the table. They ate in silence.

\---

He took a deep breath. Jon was running from window to window to watch a particular cardinal fly back and forth outside. It was the perfect time to call the doctor about his miraculous recovery. Nausea took hold of his stomach and he briefly considered setting up an appointment for himself. With shaking fingers, he dialed the number. There was time to compose himself while the receptionist transferred his call. It was not enough.

“Hello?”

“Hello. I’m calling to report a glimpse of recovery in Jonathan Bellamy’s amnesia.” his voice shook as he said ‘recovery.’

“Ah, that’s good to hear! Can you explain what sort of recovery he is experiencing?”

 

“He was able to remember what we did yesterday. No memories from before the accident were brought to light, however.”

“So he is forming new memories without trouble, now?”

“Yes.”

“Then why are you upset?”

Aaron hung up. Who did Dr. Brunswick think he was, a therapist? He liked to keep everyone on a need-to-know basis and when it came to his personal feelings this doctor didn’t need to know. 

“Aaron, may I please borrow the phone?” Jon asked, entering the room.

Aaron nodded and handed it to him. After he showed him how to use it, he hurried from the room. There was only one person Jon could be calling, after all.

“Hi, Alex! It’s me, Jon!”

\---

“Can you help me with something, please?” Jon asked, eyes wide and hands folded.

Aaron nodded in response.

“I need help making sandwiches for a picnic.” noticing Aaron’s confused expression, he continued. “Alex wants to take me on a date and I said I’d never been on a picnic before so he said we should do that so now I need to make sandwiches and bring lemonade so we can go on a picnic.”

Aaron nodded and pursed his lips. “What kind of sandwiches?”

“Peanut butter banana with chocolate chips.” 

Jon made sure Aaron was spacing the banana slices out perfectly, asserting that if there isn’t a small space between each slice the chocolate chips can’t go on the peanut butter. Aaron had to admit he looked adorable while doing it. The way his brow furrowed as he methodically fiddled with the sandwiches. He wasn’t normally so childish in his mannerisms, but the doctor had warned him that that was a symptom he might notice on occasion. 

Memories flooded him in waves. Mainly about the surgery and therapy Jon had gone through so his body would reflect who he was. He had had a small spark of childishness in those times, as well. It was how he got that one time he got drunk, too. He remembered how that hadn’t stopped him from knocking out the aggressive guy in the bar who had made fun of him. He had never been more shocked. 

“What are you thinking about?” Jon asked, his face showing that innocent expression he always wore. “You’re smiling.”

“It’s nothing. How is this sandwich looking?” he shook his head.

“Hmm…” his brow furrowed again. “You didn’t cut it into a triangle.”

“Oh, right, sorry.” he frowned as he counted the sandwiches before him. “Why did we have to make so many?”

“Oh, did I forget to ask you? I wanted you to come with me! You said the doctor said I shouldn’t be driving, remember?”

Jon’s eyes sparkled with excitement. As if he knew that Aaron could never say no to him.

\---

They arrived to find Alex already waiting in the shade of a pine tree. He hadn’t set the blanket up, yet, apparently he had wanted to do that with Jon. Upon seeing Aaron, he smiled and went for a handshake.

“You must be Aaron Burr, sir!” he stated rather than asked. “If you brought your girlfriend we could’ve had a double date.”

“I’m…” he caught himself. “...gay.”

“Of course! I’m gay, too!” he shouted in excitement. “Actually, I’m bisexual. I wish I had enough lgbt friends to start a riot. A real riot, with fighting and everything! Then we could prove that we exist and deserve equal rights!”

“Can we just start the picnic?” he had been impressed by how Alex referred to him as ‘sir’, but now he was just annoyed. 

Not that he’d ever say it.

“Yeah good idea.” Alex glanced at the sky. “Looks kinda dreary and I wouldn’t wanna throw away our shot at having a great picnic! Jon, wanna help lay out the blanket?”

“Yes!”

Aaron watched with narrowed eyes as they threw everything in place. He could’ve done it way more efficiently than Alex did. Still, Jon giggled and helped place rocks on the corners of the blanket to keep the wind from blowing it away. He eyed Alex’s picnic basket with suspicion. It was stuffed full to the point where it barely kept closed.

Alex sat down right next to Jon. Aaron tensed as Alex’s hand wrapped around Jon’s middle. The Scott noticed this, but didn’t stop in his affections. Instead, he turned and placed a kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead.

Aaron’s entire world shattered when Jon returned the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll write more about the date in the next chapter, don't worry!


	5. Too Late to Apologize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of Jon and Alex's date.

The two lovers couldn’t get any closer. Jon was practically in Alex’s lap and they both fed each other bites of food. Alex had brought dozens of different sweets because he didn’t know which were Jon’s favorite and wanted to make sure he liked them. They were both becoming very close very fast. It already seemed that nothing could shake their love for each other. Aaron hated every second of it.

 

“It’s getting late.” he announced.

 

They haven’t answered yet. He said that an hour ago. Clearly they wanted this day to drag on forever. How loving. How utterly sickening. Aaron caught his beloved yawning and started to say something along the lines of “let’s go home”, but Alex beat him to it.

 

“Are you tired, Jonny?” 

 

Jon looked up at him with bright, sleepy eyes. He blinked slowly and nodded sweetly. It was agony on Aaron’s heart. Maybe they’d notice him if he had a heart attack.

 

“C’mon, let’s go. There’s one more thing I want to do with you, tonight.” Alex whispered, casting a dark look at his rival.

 

Aaron jumped up and pulled Jon away.

 

“Actually, we should be going. He’s not supposed to stay up too late, after all!” he struggled to lift his would-be boyfriend.

 

“It won’t take long, I promise!”

 

“That’s still too long. Say goodbye to Alex, Jon.”

 

“But-” Jon began, but was cut off by another yawn.

 

They turned away and Aaron started half-walking, half-dragging Jon back to his car. Whatever Alex wanted to do was probably off-limits. All of it was off-limits, as far as Aaron was concerned. 

 

“That’s too bad. I guess I’ll have to watch the fireworks by myself, then.”

 

“It’s not even Independence Day.” Aaron grumbled. “Where would you watch fireworks?”

 

“Aaron, what are fireworks?” Jon gasped.

 

“Oh, not much, really. Just a beautiful light show of colorful fire in the night sky. Lots of people go to see them. It’s really not gonna be the same all by myself…” Alex continued, shrugging innocently.

 

Jon stared up at Aaron with round, hopeful, sparkling eyes. Aaron pursed his lips and looked the other way. He stared threateningly into Alex’s pouty face. He pulled Jon closer.

 

“Please…” Jon said.

 

Finally, he gave in with a sigh.

 

\---

 

_ “You’re always doing this!” he shouted, red in the face. “You never tell me anything, and then get mad when I don’t do what you want!” _

 

_ The taller man huffed in response. Shaking his head, he turned and began stomping away. _

 

_ “I don’t need to deal with this. Handle your rampant emotions somewhere else.” he called over his shoulder. _

 

_ “At least I have emotions! You never show what you’re feeling. You never deal with your problems.” _

 

_ No response this time. His opponent in this argument was just getting on his laptop. _

 

_ “Don’t ignore me!” _

 

_ … _

 

_ “Aaron!” _

 

_ … _

 

_ “Fine! If you’re going to let your stupid fear of falling behind rule your life, I don’t want to be around for it!” _

 

_ “Then leave.” _

 

_ The smaller man’s eyes widened. Trembling, he reached for his coat and headed for the door.  _

 

_ “If that’s how you feel.” he sniffled. “Goodbye, Mr. Burr.” _

 

_ The door slammed behind him. Aaron let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. This argument had been a long time coming. He knew what would happen, though. Bell would go for a walk around town to cool off, then come back and apologize for his words. _

 

_ Except, this time, he didn’t come back.  _

 

\---

 

The trio took their seats in the grass on a large hillside. Aaron fidgeted, the dry grass was uncomfortable to sit on. It kept pricking his legs through his pants and his hands when he leaned back. This is why Alex so courteously offered to have Jon sit on his lap. Of course, Jon accepted the offer.

 

As they waited for the fireworks to start, several other groups took their places nearby. A trio of women set up a thick blanket to lay on. A couple of large, loud men plopped down only a few feet from Aaron. A pretty young woman sat gracefully a bit further away, smiling at Aaron’s trio. 

 

Jon, having been excited out of sleepiness, was chatting endlessly with Alex. 

 

“What are the fireworks like?”

 

“You’ll see.”

 

“Are there going to be a lot of them?”

 

“I sure hope so. We had to pay to get in, after all.”

 

Actually, Aaron had paid. He had insisted - so he really couldn’t complain - because there was no way he was going to hear Jon thanking Alex for anything. Not anything that Aaron could supply, at least.

 

“Hey, what gives?!” shouted an angry man.

 

Aaron turned to see what the yelling was about. A third man had joined the two loud ones. His freckled face was contorted with rage and his companions had their hands in front of them in surrender and were slowly backing up.

 

“Dude, we were in a hurry, ok?” said the one with the bandana.

 

“We just didn’t really think this through-”

 

“Clearly not!” he took a step forward and the bandana man hid behind his french friend. “There are three of us! Why did you only take two chairs? Can’t you count?!”

 

“W-well one of us could sit on the ground-” the other two stuttered in unison.

 

“Not me!”

 

A man with a large velvet-and-faux-fur cape strode past. 

 

“Peasants! I always bring three chairs!” he scoffed, setting down a stack of three chairs for himself to sit in.

 

The trio glanced from each other to the stacked chairs and back. Covertly nodding, they sprang into action.

 

“Get the chairs!!”

 

“My throne!!!”

 

“No, you’re going to break them!”

 

“Preserve the chairs!!”

 

Alex started cheering and ripping up grass to throw at them. The trio of women started chanting “Fight! Fight! Fight!” and one of them rushed to join in.

 

Boom!

 

“It’s starting!” shouted the pretty woman.

 

Immediately, everyone took their places in the grass since all of the chairs were destroyed. The faint sobbing of the caped man were ignored as everyone oohed and aahed at the fireworks. No one enjoyed them more than Jon, Aaron noticed with a slight smile. His smile disappeared as Alex started stroking Jon’s back. It turned into a frown as Jon leaned into the touch. He seemed to enjoy that. Aaron never could do any of this with him while they were together. He couldn’t even speak his mind like Alex clearly can. Jon would be happier this way.

 

The pretty woman from before slid over to sit next to Aaron. He looked at her with raised eyebrows. She smiled nervously.

 

“Hi, I’m Maria.” she said. “I just thought you could use a friend?” she gestured at the two lovebirds.

 

Aaron grunted in response, but was secretly grateful. They watched the fireworks together, enjoying the company of a new friend.

 

\---

 

_ The obnoxious ringing hit his ears and he reached for the phone. After answering, he held it to his ear for a while. He started to shake and a cold feeling like ice pushed swam in his veins. _

 

_ “I just… wanted… to say… sorry…” Bell panted weakly over the phone. “You… deserved… better…” _

 

_ “What happened?” Aaron shouted. “Why do I hear sirens?!” _

 

_ “I… lo-” _

  
Click.


	6. Dreams vs Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is one (1) curse word in this. You'll see when you get to it, but I really think it fits there and substituting something in this case just wouldn't work as well.

It was early morning back in Aaron’s apartment. Jon was still fast asleep though his friend and caregiver was already making breakfast. Surprisingly, it was not grilled cheese. Instead, he had carefully selected a piece of blackened toast with a little square of off-brand butter on it. A breakfast that was certainly not fit for kings, but it was perfect for the dreary mood its consumer was in. He grunted as the light from the sun hit his eyes.

Heavy footsteps slowly trudged through the house on their way to the kitchen. The rest of the body wasn’t any more energetic. Jon’s yawn alerted Aaron to his presence.

“Hungry?” he asked.

“Uh-huh.” Jon nodded wearily, eyes droopy.

“Well, I can make you something if you want?”

“Eggs, please.”

Setting aside his newspaper, Aaron started to get up. 

“Scrambled or fried?”

“Scrambled, please.”

“Ok, take a seat while you wait.”

As Aaron carefully prepared the eggs and even poured a glass of orange juice, he thought about the night before. Alex knew that he was making him uncomfortable. He probably even assumed that he and Jon had dated before but split up. Yet he seemed to be doing it on purpose. Just to bother him, to show him who Jon really wants. He hoped Jon would see him as the annoying little bastard he is.

“It’s ready!” he announced as he carried it to Jon.

Immediately, he knew that something was off. That expression on his face wasn’t his usual sleepy-face. The way he sighed his ‘thank you’ and wouldn’t meet Aaron’s eyes, the way he opened his mouth but shut it again without words. Painful memories attacked Aaron’s senses.

“Are you ok?”

“Well…” he put his head in his hands. “I… This is going to sound really weird- I just-”

He shook his head helplessly. Aaron’s brows knitted with concern.

“Jon, tell me what’s wrong.” his voice was soft, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t awkwardly standing there holding a plate of eggs.

“Y-you probably don’t want to hear it…”

“I want you to feel better.” he hoped he was doing this right, this time. “If you have any concerns, you can tell me. I’ll listen.”

“Ok. If you’re sure.” he nodded without looking up. “So, last night, I had this dream…”

He took a deep breath. 

“Um… this will probably take a while to explain… you should sit down.”

Aaron obeyed, quietly. Jon always hated noise. Except, apparently, if it’s fireworks, he thought bitterly.

“Ok… so, my dream. In my dream, um, I was in the park. I was throwing a penny in the fountain at the bottom of the hill, making a wish. My, um, my wish was that I would meet someone amazing - l-like in those r-romance books.” he blushed a bit. “Then, um, this is the weird part, then, you came along.”

Aaron tilted his head to the side. 

“I-I know, it’s w-weird, right?” he was starting to shake with anxiety. “Um, well, you and I were t-talking for a bit, and then, um, we held hands and took a walk together…”

Aaron froze. That sounded exactly like how they first met. He cleared his throat and nodded at Jon encouragingly.

“After a while, um, I realized that I-I liked y-you… and a few m-months later, um, in the dream, I asked you i-if you would, um, g-go out with m-me…” he started folding in on himself. “A-and the w-weird thing is… i-it felt like it had h-happened before?”

All the blood left Aaron’s body. After a moment of silence passed, Jon looked up to see if he was still listening. His eyes had so much sadness in them, so much anxiety, so much conflict. Aaron knew he had two choices. One way would make him feel better, but cause more stress to Jon. The other way would put Jon’s mind at ease, even as it destroys the golden opportunity for him to get back with Aaron. It was a hard choice, but he had meant what he said about wanting him to be happy.

“It was just a lucid dream. Those dreams tend to feel real, when they’re actually just your imagination.” he said. “So don’t feel like you’re being unfaithful to… Alex. Ok?”

 "That m-makes sense. I was a girl in the dream anyway. Weird, right?" Jon nodded gratefully. 

He really did look like that cleared away his worries. His eyes shone brightly again.

Aaron excused himself to call Dr. Brunswick.

\---

Alex bit his lip and ran his thigh up his partner’s thigh.

“Are you nervous, Johnny?” he whispered in his ear. 

“Not at all, darling.” was the reply, the ‘darling’ was given a southern accent to turn his partner on more.

Both laughed and fell into a kiss. Alex reached up to cup his companion’s face, turning it for a better angle. Hands began to roam. Eventually they broke apart to share a lusty stare.

“I love you, Alexander Hamilton.” he said in a mock-formal tone.

Alex replied with a laugh and attempted to mimic his tone.

“I love you, too, John Laurens.” 

\---

“Yes, a memory surfaced.” Aaron whispered into the phone. 

“Why are you whispering?” the doctor replied.

“Jon is in the other room.”

“Right. Was it something about your time together? Did you tell him it was his imagination?”

“How-?”

“You’re not as hard to predict as you think you are.” he chuckled without humor. “Was it a fully-formed memory or a partial memory?”

Aaron paced the hallway floor anxiously. 

“Yes. Er, I mean, fully-formed.” 

“If you’d like I can prescribe you some anxiety medication?”

“No thanks.” he rasped, picking up speed.

“Well, a fully-formed memory certainly is cause for celebration. He very well may make a full recovery, given time.” a pause. “Mr. Burr, you definitely will not be able to keep your relationship a secret for long. He’ll be more upset if he finds out through regained memories than through you. He’ll think you were hoping you wouldn’t have to date him anymore.”

“You don’t know how we were.” he hesitated.

“Mr. Burr? Is there something else keeping you from telling him the truth?” his tone was like a steel beam: hard and blunt.

“He’s dating someone else.”

“Right. Well, I can’t help you there.”

“No one asked for your help.” 

Click.

He stopped pacing. Looking at his hands, he realized they were shaking. How much more of this could he take? His resolve, which he prized as unbreakable, was looking to be more like the Titanic. One more memory could be his iceberg.

Unfortunately, that iceberg was far larger and nearer than he could ever imagine.


	7. Thanks for the Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this wonderful chapter :)

“Aaron! Aaron!” Jon shouted from his bedroom.

Aaron rushed in before Jon could say the second “Aaron!” Immediately, he sat down on the bed next to him and rubbed his knee soothingly. Realizing what he was doing, he retracted his hand and scooted away a little.

“What happened? Did you have a bad dream?”

It was six in the morning, far earlier than Jon had ever woken before. Aaron had already been awake, of course. Making grilled cheese, again.

“Not a bad dream, but it was strange.”

“Oh… a-another lucid dream, then?” cold waters flowed through his veins in the place of blood.

“Yeah.” he paused and glanced away, fidgeting with sheets. “D-do you wanna hear it?”

“S-sure.”

“Ok… Um, we were at the aquarium… I was male in this one, um, but you liked me. You, uh, you wanted to show me all the fish, b-because you knew I liked them. Um, you bought me a nice souvenir, too. It was- ow…” he clutched his head.

“Don’t strain yourself, Jon.” Aaron said firmly. “If you don’t think you can talk about it, then don’t.”

“No, no. It’s fine. Just a small headache. Um, after that we went outside and, um, we, uh…” he blushed profusely. “Y-you, umm, you k-k-kissed me…” he hid his reddened face in his hands.

That was exactly how their first date went. Aaron remembered it clear as day. Jon had had so much fun…

“B-but I, um, I don’t think it was just a dream…” Jon murmured. “It felt more like... a memory.”

Then, Aaron heard it. The most heartbreaking sob escaped Jon’s mouth as he turned away. He reached over to rub his shoulders soothingly, but Jon flinched away. Grabbing a pillow, he ran from the room. Aaron stared after him helplessly, a pain in his chest.

\---

The new couple stared romantically into each other’s eyes. They were laying together, curled up in a hammock, whispering sweet nothings to one another.

“Remember when we first met?”

“You mean literally a week ago? At the fireworks show?”

“Yeah.”

“What about it?”

“Mmm… I saw you fighting even though you’re half as tall as your buddies were… you little squirt!” he booped his companion’s freckled nose, eliciting a playful smack.

“No, they’re just giants!!” he slid on top of the other man. “I remember seeing you with that chubby little guy… was that a serious relationship?”

“Hey, I thought he was cute.”

“What about me?”

“You’re cuter!” he reached up to cup his face in his hands. “Mmm… I love you, John…”

“I love you, too, Alex.”

They shared a kiss. First, it was a sweet brushing of lips, but soon it escalated into a competition. Rolling over and over to try to be the one on top, pressing their mouths together in search of that warm feeling. They only broke apart to laugh as they fell off the hammock, John quickly seized the opportunity and pulled himself on top.

“How are you gonna break it to him?” he asked, tracing Alex’s jawline with his finger.

“Ugh, I don’t know.” Alex sighed stressfully. “Do I really have to tell him at all? Maybe he’ll decide on his own to stop seeing me and that’ll be that.”

“Hmm.”

“It’s not like he doesn’t have other options!! That Aaron guy loves him, I can tell.”

“Were they dating at one point?”

“I asked Jon, once. He said that Aaron was just helping him recover from that car accident he was in like two weeks ago.”

John laid down on top of Alex, pressing his head into his boyfriend’s chest with a contented sigh. Alex ran his fingers through John’s curly hair before moving his hand down to rub circles in his back. Eventually, he broke the silence.

“Maybe I’ll just let that Aaron guy win him over.”

“Maybe.”

“I don’t want to let him go. He’s a good kisser.”

“Aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but in different ways. I might miss his sweet, romantic kisses.”

“Just keep us both. I’d be ok with it.”

Alex considered this for a moment.

“Yeah… Good idea. He doesn’t need to know.”

\---

Dr. Brunswick was right. He couldn’t keep this up for much longer. Except he’d waited too long already. He had to tell Jon the truth. But, this would only upset him. Aaron had to do something even harder than that, now, to really put his little Bell’s mind at ease.

“I just… I just want to be good enough for Alex!” Jon sniffled. “I c-can’t do that if I’m having a-all these weird d-dreams."

Better make that “Alex’s little Bell.”

“It’s ok, Jon, it’s ok. You’re way more than good enough for him!” he isn’t good enough for you, he thought to himself.

He had had another memory last night. About one of the Christmases they spent together. They had kissed under the mistletoe and Aaron had gotten him a green snuggie.

“No! It’s not! I know it wasn’t a dream this time! It was a memory and now I’m not being faithful to Alex and he’s gonna hate me and-”

“Shhhh. It’s really ok. What makes you think it’s a memory?”

He sniffed and looked directly at Aaron with big, watery eyes.

“Because I saw that snuggie here, in your closet.”

Aaron froze. Memories cascaded upon so roughly that he could hardly see what was really in front of him. Memories of that Christmas, memories of them fighting, of him ignoring Jon’s feelings, taking him for granted, being the indirect cause of his accident, not telling him anything afterwards even though he knew it would be better for them, and even now, knowing what was about to happen. He ruined Jon’s life. He was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. And he knew, in that terrible moment, what he had to do. It was going to hurt, but he didn’t care. Nothing could hurt him more than seeing Jon so upset.

Taking a deep breath, he led John to the couch and sat down with him. He had to make it right. For John.

“I… have not been telling you the truth.” he began.

“W-what do you mean?” Jon looked at him with round, frightened eyes.

“Well… remember when I saw you in the hospital and I said I was there to see someone?”

“Yeah?”

“That was you. See, we knew each other before your a-accident.” he cleared his throat to prevent stuttering again. “We… we were…”

“...Friends?”

“No… we were… dating.”

Jon’s eyes widened even more, a tear trickling down his cheek. Thankfully, he didn’t ask why Aaron didn’t tell him before. He was always so kind, so understanding. He still had to tell him. He couldn’t leave anything out. Not anymore.

“I didn’t tell you before because I was scared. We… weren’t exactly on good terms and it, um, it seemed like things were coming to a close in our relationship, anyway. I… didn’t think you’d want me anymore.” Jon started to say something but Aaron hurriedly cut him off. “B-but now, you’re dating Alex, so I figured it was only fair to… break things off properly. Jon, I… we… I’m breaking it up with you, officially.” he stared at the floor.

Jon was silent. Minutes passed and no one moved. Eventually, Aaron heard it. The first sob. He fixed his eyes on the carpeted floor and would not dare look up. He heard him scuffle away to cry alone. Letting out a deep sigh, he knew that he did what he had to. That this was the only way.

He would not allow himself to feel such a selfish thing as regret.

\---

“Hey, Johnny?” Alex whispered to his sleeping lover. “I’m gonna go out for a bit. Got a date with Jon. The other Jon.”

“Have fun.” John muttered before slipping back into the deep haze of sleep.

Alex got dressed quickly - not difficult, since he was already naked - and went out the door. Jon had called him the day before to ask him on a last-minute date. They were going to a scottish restaurant. He knew for a fact that Jon didn’t like Scottish food, but he probably wanted to go there because Alex did. That boy…

“I’ll be back in a bit, babe.”

With that, he went out the door and set off to pick Jon up at Aaron’s place.

\---

Jon paced the hallway, clutching a carefully wrapped gift with a bow on top in his hands. He had felt bad about his feelings for Aaron and had insisted on giving Alex a gift to make it up to him. He would probably tell Alex all about it. He even set their date at a Scottish restaurant. Jon hates Scottish food.

That boy…

The doorbell rang and in came Alex. He had his phone in his hand. Smiling at it, he put it down on the side-table in the corner.

“Hey, sweetheart! Are you ready to go on our date?”  
Jon nodded, hiding the present behind his back.

Just like that, they were gone. Aaron sighed and turned to head into the kitchen. He still had to call Dr. Brunswick about the talk he had with Jon. Before he got far, however, he heard a phone buzzing. Must be the doctor himself, calling to check in. Good timing.

“What the-?” Aaron held his still and silent phone in his hands.

The buzzing continued and he turned to see Alex’s phone shaking on the table.

“Useless little twit must’ve left it behind…”

He picked it up to find a better place for it. Then, he noticed the text.

“Hey babe!! How’s your date going? Can you bring me some fries :)” -Johnny <3

That wasn’t his Jonny. As Aaron stared in shock and disbelief, another text buzzed in.

“Remember not to be too hard on the little guy. Unless you changed your mind about telling him?” -Johnny <3


	8. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Removing a knife from a wound only lets it bleed more.

Aaron set his jaw. He typed a response into the phone, pretending to be Alex. Stuffing the phone into his pocket, he headed for his car. A treacherous feeling of guilt prodded at his heart, but he squandered it. He’s doing what he has to.

“Isn’t that what you said earlier?” the little feeling whispered and hid itself away.

\---

“What would you like to order, sirs?” said the waiter.

Jon and Alex both spun around at the accent.

“Lafayette??” Alex sputtered.

“I may be positively ravishing in this uniform, but, alas, I am not on the menu.” he winked. “I see you have a different companion today?”

Alex paled. Chuckling nervously he got up and whispered something in Laf’s ear, eliciting a frown from the frenchman. He looked pityingly at Jon, then curiously at the wrapped present in the seat next to him.

“Well… I will give you two a few more minutes to consider your options.” to Jon he said: “I will give you a free dessert of your choice, petite lapin.”

Jon raised a brow. Alex blushed and fidgeted with his napkin.

“So… uh… what’s with the box?” he asked to distract him.

“Oh, this?” Jon lit up and set the box on the table. “It’s for you!”

When they had first arrived, Jon had held the door for him. Then, he’d pulled the chair out for him. Those things were not unusual, Alex didn’t have to know him more than these two weeks to know he was a real gentleman. The present, however, was something new.

“Why?” Alex began unwrapping it. “It isn’t my birthday.”

“Now are you ready to order?” Laf chimed in.

“Well…” Jon looked down at his feet. “Apparently, Aaron and I had been dating when I had the accident. I-I got you this gift to apologize for being u-unfaithful.”

Alex’s head snapped up to stare at him. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened. Lafayette slowly turned to stare at Alex, his eyes burning coals.

“This is a bad time, no?” his voice was controlled and flat. “Ah, Alexander, the chef is having difficulty with your order. If you will accompany me to the kitchen?” he gestured at the kitchen door.

“Sure…” Alex gulped, glancing helplessly at anything but Jon.

“But we didn’t order, yet…?” Jon called after them, though he was ignored as Laf stiffly strode towards the kitchen with Alex trailing slowly after him.

As soon as they were through the door, a freckled man no taller than Jon sat down in his place.

“You must be Jon! I’m John Laurens! That’s ‘John’ with an ‘h’.” the man said. “How do you feel?”

“Um, fine?” Jon with no ‘h’ replied, confused. “Alex went into the kitchen with Lafayette, our waiter.”

“Oh, I see.” he seemed to be considering saying something. “Has he…?”

“Has he what?”

“Oh, so he hasn’t, yet.” he shrugged. “He texted me earlier, saying… well, it’s not important.”

John with an ‘h’ glanced at the half-opened box on the table. He poked it a few times.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a gift, for Alex.” Jon fidgeted with his shirt. “Because, um, apparently Aaron and I were dating already, and I wanted to apologize to Alex for being unfaithful to him.”

John froze.

“O-oh…t-that’s...” he cleared his throat and glanced out the window. 

“That’s n-nice of you… Um, wait a minute, if you were dating Aaron first, why didn’t you…?”

Jon started to wonder why everyone acted weird and changed the subject whenever he told them about the gift. Was it not good enough? After a moment, he realized what John meant with his question.

“Oh, Aaron broke up with me.”

“What? Why?”

“He didn’t really say. I think he didn’t want me to have to choose between him and Alex.” he decided to leave out the fact that Aaron said their relationship had been failing before the accident, anyway.

John’s face started turning red. His hands shook a bit, and he bent down to stare at the table. He took deep, rhythmic breaths. Jon realized with a start that this was the angry man from the fireworks show. He hadn’t recognized him, earlier. John Laurens got up and muttered something about Alex. Just then, Alex reappeared. Laf was not with him.

“Alex!” John shouted angrily.

“J-John??” Alex spluttered, paling again.

The other patrons of the restaurant were turning around to watch the scene, now. Before anyone could do or say anything else, Aaron sauntered in determinedly.

“Well, well, well. I see you got my text, Johnny?” he remarked with a monotone voice, though the venom in it was clear.

He held up Alex’s phone and shook it a bit for emphasis. His confidence faltered as he caught sight of the dark green fabric sticking out of the gift wrap on the table.

“You sent that text?!” John exclaimed.

“What do you mean? What are you two doing here?” Alex was shaking.

“What is going on?” Jon asked.

Lafayette emerged from the kitchen, spreading his arms in a plea for silence. His face was hard with conviction and his posture bespoke of the injustice committed even before his mouth.

“Before we get to the nitty gritty of it all, let’s all remember that, no matter how angry we are with Alex, our words will also affect Jon. Keep your words respectful as if you were speaking to him, not each other.” He turned to Alex. “You are the culprit here, so we will hear your side first.”

All eyes were trained on Alex. Many of the onlookers in the restaurant already knew what this was about. Although this is the case, the need for entertainment and justice went hand in hand, overpowering the material need for food. Alex took a deep breath, then stared at the floor as he spoke.

“I have… an apology to deliver. Jon, I-” his voice cracked a bit and he paused to recover. “I have been cheating on you.”

Gasps resounded around the room. It seemed the very air was infected with a rage that, when breathed in by all within range, infected their hearts and manifested anew. Powerful it was, it even masked - but did not diminish - the lingering sadness resting in a small few.  
Alex continued.

“It started a little over a week ago. I met John Laurens at the fireworks show, and I thought he was beautiful. It was enough that I lost control of my reason and decided to indulge my senses. I saw him every day. I even moved in with him after a few days. Soon, we were hitting that very edge of all relationships, transcending the emotional and breaching the physical. I still love him. I want to go to the ends of the universe - of life itself - to stay with him.”

Silence.

Then, like the start of a dramatic classical music piece, chaos resounded with immense volume. Yelling all at once, yet no one was heard. Even people with no prior business with the situation were shouting uproariously. They all wanted Alex to feel their anger inside and out. One man in a red cape even called for an execution.

“QUIET.” Lafayette called out over them all.

Once everyone had quieted down sufficiently, Laf continued, turning to John.

“Is this true?”

“Yes.”

Nodding, he now turned to Aaron.

“Now, monsieur…?”

“Aaron.”

“Of course. Aaron, what is your place in this story?”

“I am Jon’s ex.”

“And, what do you know of this story of Alex’s? Is it true?”

“Yes.”

Again, an uproar took over. This time, fueled by substantial proof - or, substantial enough to the crowd - they could not be quieted by Lafayette. John and Laf had to push people off of Alex as their desires slowly turned into actions. In the end, it was something quiet and soft that finally quelled the storm.

Jon began to sob.

Everyone became silent and still. The air became dry and empty. Lafayette wordlessly brought him a dessert.

Jon hid his face in the snuggie.


	9. Just One Yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you all enjoy this final chapter!

“Jon?” Aaron asked, curiously.

 

It had a been a week. Jon had spent most of his time in his room. He’d hardly eaten. Whenever Aaron went in to check on him, he was wrapped up in his snuggie on his bed. Now, he was in the kitchen. Cooking.

 

“Good morning, Aaron.” he said.

 

“...Good morning.”

 

Jon flipped the grilled cheese over in the pan. Then, without turning to face Aaron, he spoke again.

 

“I broke it off with Alex.”

 

“I was there.”

 

“Listen to the end.” Aaron was surprised by the stern tone in Jon’s voice. “Every night, I had more of those dreams. Now, I remember everything.”

 

At this point, he was plating up the first sandwich and putting a new one in the pan. Still, he did not look at Aaron. It was unsettling.

 

“Find a seat in the dining room.” he said. “Get good and comfy. We’ll talk over breakfast.”

 

\---

 

They ate in silence for several minutes. Still, Jon wouldn’t look at Aaron. But it wasn’t that he was uncomfortable and didn’t want to meet his eyes. It was like he was wearing a veil of calmness and wasn’t allowing Aaron a single piece of it. Aaron pursed his lips and looked away.

 

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked, though he already knew the answer.

 

“We were having an argument, remember?”

 

Jon wasn’t planning on apologizing for his words this time. He wasn’t going to use words that would need an apology. He would get his point across, this time. Aaron would listen to him and contribute, this time. This would not be like before, when nothing got done. Jon refused to let bitterness and resentment taint his relationship with Aaron any longer.

 

“Right.”

 

“The problem, in my eyes, was always that you would never tell me anything.” Jon suddenly looked up and stared directly into Aaron’s eyes, though it didn’t feel threatening. “This led to me taking your car to go to the grocery store when you had an important meeting at that time.”

 

Aaron just nodded, then went back to eating. Jon continued.

 

“When I got back home, I found a note by the sink. It said: ‘Thank you for using my car to go to the grocery store. That milk was more important than anything I may have needed to do.’ You still didn’t tell me what was wrong. So all I knew was that you were mad at me.”

 

Aaron slowly chewed his sandwich.

 

“I didn’t make you breakfast so you could pretend to listen. Do you want to resolve our problems or not?”

 

Aaron sighed and looked up, pointedly folding his hands together in front of him.

 

“This is exactly the type of behavior I’m talking about. You act passive-aggressive but don’t tell me what I did wrong. How can I change my behavior if I don’t know what needs changing? It makes me feel like you hate me and don’t think I’m worth dealing with.”

 

“It seems like-” Aaron caught himself. He couldn’t let himself do this again. “Fine. But if I tell you what you do wrong, you have to change it.”

 

“I’m only human. I’ll certainly correct my mistakes and watch myself so I don’t do them again, but it’s probably not going to be an immediate or permanent fix. Just like how I do expect you to put out an effort to be less passive-aggressive, but I know that it won’t be immediate and that you might make a mistake sometimes. Are we clear on that?”

 

“Yes.” Aaron pursed his lips and looked away.

 

“You’re going to try to be less passive-aggressive?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good. And I’ll ask you before I do some things so I don’t end up inconveniencing you.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

Jon sighed. It wouldn’t be that easy, even as friends.

 

\---

 

Jon closed the door and took off his shoes.

 

“I’m home!” he called out.

 

He wasn’t expecting an answer, so he jumped in shock when he saw Aaron waiting by the door.

 

“It’s great that you’re home, now.” he said, then walked away.

 

“Aaron.”

 

He sighed and turned around.

 

“Fine. I wanted you to stay home earlier in case the mailman came by with my package. Neither of us were here, so he didn’t deliver it.”

 

“You said you didn’t mind if I visited Maria, today.”

 

“Well, th-” he caught himself and took a deep breath. “I didn’t think I would have to go to work, today.”

 

“Then it’s not my fault that no one was here.” Jon said. “We’ll just get the package tomorrow.”

 

Aaron grunted and left the room. Jon smiled. He was getting better at expressing himself, already!

 

\---

 

“Hey, Aaron!” Jon said.

 

Aaron opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. Taking a deep breath, he got up from the couch and handed a piece of paper to Jon.

 

“It’s the water bill.” he explained, with some effort. “You didn’t pay it while you were out. B-but that’s not your fault! I forgot to ask you, and I could’ve paid it yesterday on my way to work.”

 

Jon raised a brow.

 

“Ok, well I can go back out, now, if you want?”

 

“No, it’s ok.” Aaron shook his head. “I should do it.”

 

As he strode out the door, Jon smiled broadly. It was time.

 

\---

 

Aaron came home from a long day of work to see Jon practically vibrating with excitement on the couch. With a confused glance around the house, he noticed it was spotless. He shook his head with a slight chuckle.

 

“What’s this about?” he asked.

 

“I have something for you!” Jon’s voice was cracking with glee. “Come here, it’s on the coffee table!”

 

As he entered the room, he noticed a small, neatly-wrapped gift box on the table. A flicker of hope lit in his stomach, but was quickly distinguished with doubt. Jon was bouncing on his heels next to him.

 

“Open it!”

 

Slowly, he pulled off the wrapping paper. It wouldn’t do to waste it, though it seemed to be agony for Jon to watch.

 

“Hurry up!”

 

Chuckling in spite of himself, Aaron obeyed. All that was left was a small box of chocolate. Jon pulled a rose bouquet out from its hiding place behind the couch and handed it to him.

 

“Aaron Burr, will you be my boyfriend?” he asked, a nervous tinge entering his tone.

 

Aaron stared at those sparkling green eyes in shock. Recovering, he put his hand up to cup Jon’s slightly chubby face.

 

“I will.” he said.

 

Jon stood on his tip-toes and planted a kiss on Aaron’s lips.


End file.
